I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
