We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
