Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
