ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
