was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
