i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize