Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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