so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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