You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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