I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
