Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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