So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
