Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
