nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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