Jerry, you need to find god
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
