Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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