So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
