Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
