I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
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As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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