This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
