i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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