I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
