My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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