i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
