the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
