Already got asked if we're dating
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
