i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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