Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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