You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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