A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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