too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
