does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize