She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
