if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
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