operation have a gay friend backfired
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
