Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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