dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
