sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
