I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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