You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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