You can't motorboat a personality
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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