Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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