sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
