Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
