She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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