he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize
