can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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