u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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