Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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