Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
