it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
