Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
