i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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