he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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