So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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