Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
