therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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