So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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