Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
