i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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