So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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