Im at strip club and am horny
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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