ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
