Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
